ARE YOU THE HIGHLIGHT REEL OR A PAINFUL PLAYBACK?
Never Underestimate the Power of Your Words and Actions
As I laid awake in the dark solace of my bedroom, I felt a presence. Not a foreboding apparition but instead one of warmth and incredible love. I was instantly transported back to a time of my youth. Night after night I found myself reminiscing about this childhood memory. But why? Was this a God whisper? Was there a message here?
I can still feel the coarsely covered couch itching against my skin, visualize the opened double-glass doors into an adjacent bedroom and hear a voice of comfort coming from that same bedroom. This scene was replicated whenever my parents took me to stay the late nights at my babysitter’s home.
I loved going to Mrs. Meistrell’s house as she was my most favorite babysitter. She allowed me to do things my parents would definitely disapprove. My favorite snack of white bread and catsup sandwiches followed by sipping hot tea would never be tolerated with my mother present. It was Mrs. Meistrell’s and my secret. We talked about everything and nothing. But we talked. I was not some ward she begrudgingly watched over. Mrs. Meistrell took care of me for over 10 years as I metamorphosed from a toddler to a teenager.
Her home was humble, nurturing and certainly a refuge for me. I was mesmerized by her uniformed, gun-carrying husband. Laying on that scratchy couch, I pretended to be asleep when he came home from his midnight shift as a state trooper. When her husband was killed in a car accident, I was there to watch Mrs. Meistrell mourn and at the same time demonstrate incredible strength. I watched in wonder as her son Gary would come through the door. He was the personification of tall, dark and handsome. But her daughter Sondra was my idol. She was a typical teenager of the 50’s, with faces of Hollywood heartthrobs adorning her upstairs room. Occasionally Sondra would invite me to join her inner sanctuary and let me wear one of her numerous scarves, so popular in the day. She introduced me to American Bandstand. As Sondra danced, I tried to emulate her every move. To this pubescent child, Sondra epitomized perfection!
My childhood was challenging. I was adopted as a baby by parents who were in their 40’s, very socially minded and at times, seemingly cruel. So anytime I could go to Mrs. Meistrell’s house was truly an escape. On those late nights, she never just put me on the couch and said “good night.” Instead she would tuck me into a blanket, crawl into her own bed adjacent to the couch and we would talk, what seemed like forever. When the chatting finally died down, I felt my body sinking into slumber with such serenity. Mrs. Meistrell’s smiling voice is definitely a highlight reel from my childhood. As I recall those wonderful moments with my babysitter, I write with eyes moist from a longing. A longing that I never told Mrs. Meistrell how important she was in my life. A profound sadness chokes my very soul that she never realized the role she played in my growing up.
However in the stillness of my bedroom, I do now find peace before sleep when recollecting those precious moments with this special lady. Some 60 years have passed and only in this present time do I realize the full impact Lillian Meistrell had on my life. I needed to know what happened to her. Finding her obituary upon my first search, Mrs. Meistrell died September 13, 2001, at the age of 88. Oh how I wish my revelation of the significance of her life on mine could have come sooner.
You must be asking, “What does this have to do with teaching or education or anything?” The correlation between my childhood memory of acts of kindness exhibited by this one woman and the chaos of school starting within days jarred me into writing. As we travel through our life pursuits, there will be people who will leave a quiet imprint of love on our hearts. We don’t always perceive it when it happens. But as we reflect over our life’s journey, we indeed see the amazing influence these people had as their orbit passed through ours. Most are unassuming, gentle folk with unconditional love to share with everyone they encounter. Here’s my challenge: are you that person? Are you aware of your words and actions? Is God able to give you whispered prompts?
More importantly, are you that teacher? that parent? that friend? Every silly munchkin or wacky middle schooler or screwball high schooler is in desperate need of your smile, tenderness and respect, on a daily sometimes hourly continuum. With the grace of God, they will grow old and reflect on their journey. Will you be in the highlight reel of their lives or the painful playback?
At a teachers’ workshop years ago, stress was defined as every time you come in contact with another human. That literally defines teaching. It is a stress-filled occupation with poor pay, at times unsupportive administrators and many times parents who use email as a shortcut to denigrate teachers before 7 am. But let’s face it. It is never about the adults. It’s about the kids! Be there for the kids: physically, emotionally and yes, even spiritually. Forgive constantly, reward continuously and stay the course. Our kids need the “highlight reel” of your compassion more now than at any time in the history of our country.
My second challenge? Spend some quiet time today and think about those people whose aura cocooned you with the warmth of love and hope. Honor them in your thoughts. Pay their acts of kindness forward. Better yet, if they are still alive, reach out to them. If they are no longer with us, write about them and share their story. In the words of John F. Kennedy: "We must find the time to stop and thank those people who make a difference in our lives."
Thank you Mrs. Meistrell.
I wrote a book in 2018 addressing these points of view: students, parents, teachers and administrators. As the school year begins, this book will serve as a guide for better communications between all four of these POV’s. Please order your book today! Amazon and Barnes & Noble.